Fringe Report Board Party April 04

It's a balmy summer's Saturday. Cotton-wool clouds scud discreetly across a cerulean blue sky. The Thames laps sensually against nearby Battersea Bridge, as the hardened drinkers, party animals, and chic (but not cheap) glitterati that make up the Fringe Report Board get drunk at Worlds End.

Two stories dominate the week's headlines: falling standards of corporate governance, in the wake of the Shell affair; and English National Opera's ban on the word 'darling'.

Today the Fringe Report board meets with the express challenge of lowering standards of directorial behaviour to a new nadir (writes John Park), by resolutely substituting solid drinking, gluttony, and unexpected heights of couture elegance for balance sheets and agendas. And, in a flagrant assault on political correctness, the word 'darling' is on everyone's lips.

It has to be, given the presence of one of FR's fabulous reviewers, the completely gorgeous dizzy blonde Cheltenham belle Samantha Darling. Sam arrives breathless, having flirtatiously coerced police officers, plumbers and lads from nearby building sites to help her find the venue. Not surprisingly, because as ever Sam stuns, this time in micro mini, lace-up cowboy boots and white chemise shirt, with plunging decolletage rivalling the Grand Canyon. Today Sam represents the FR writers and shoots from the hip with a 10-minute note-less analysis of what Bertolt Brecht was about - something the old boy would doubtless have benefitted from knowing during his life-time. FR writer Lea Harris is laid up in Edinburgh with a bad back. Annabelle Joyce is down in Bournemouth for a masonic meeting - a first for a male-only organisation, but Annabelle's no ordinary woman.

Hugely charismatic PR Paul Sullivan arrives all in blue, a fashion statement defining how to get into clubs with that indefinable criterion 'smart casual', sexy dark stubble, and bags full of exotic cheeses which get progressively devoured. Comedy legend and Adonis-like sex-symbol Rohan Acharya snatches a break from producing 2 Edinburgh shows and a new season of London comedy nights at Madamae Jo-Jos. Adorable theatre and comedy manager, doe-eyed beauty Zena Barrie sports Dick Van Dyke-style cheeky-chirpy-Cockney barrow-girl's cap, t-shirt and ultra-chic un-tailored-look tailored denim jeans - defining the word 'style' with each casual glance and graceful pose. Zena's ceiling's leaking, and the cap possibly conceals a crash helmet in case of cascading plaster. Zena brings her uni friend, charming performance artist Robert Kennedy.

Marc Blakewill, handsome icon of comedy writers, manfully drinks Grolsch from the neck. Lovely Sarah Choppen - from the Essex region, but not an Essex girl (no white handbag) - raven-haired temptress, actor, dancer, singer, looks gorgeous. There's no limit to the girl's talents, especially as she's also thinking of next year's marathon, with some simultaneous iron woman (the athletic equivalent of the Hundred Years' War) training thrown in for light relief. Hunky actor Richard Costello stays off the booze, he's onstage in tonight's NewsRevue at the Canal Café Theatre, satirising Tony Blair - quite a feat, as some might feel the Prime Minister now manages this more effectively than anyone else.

Gifted comedy writer amd cuddly bear Dr James Harris famously said no to drugs (his doctorate is in that kind of science) and hello to satire. His work can be seen on 2D TV and the fringe stage. Today, he practises the delicate balance of verticality combined with Fosters-ingestion. International financial publisher Rupert Keenlyside flies in from New York for the party. Rupert's a bachelor playboy (yes girls, he's single), whose only downside is playing the accordion (that may be why). It's a vice he shares with breathtaking Alison Trower, legendary beauty, syle icon, doyenne of art events organisers, and the woman whose poignant glance breaks more men's hearts per hour than Kensington & Chelsea Traffic Wardens issue tow-away tickets (a lot).

King of comedy reviewing, the dashing and urbane Bruce Dessau misses the event, he's stuck in scorching traffic ferrying his children between Saturday appointments, a service fellow devoted parents will treasure as all too familiar. Lovely Emma Taylor, producer and theatre manager can't come either. She's lying in the sun in Madrid, a difficult task, but someone is obliged to do it on behalf of everyone else. Gentle beauty and tour de force events producer and theatrical producer Tally Parr is being rugged in the Lake District, probably scaling peaks (though not Pekes, there's nothing kinky about Tally) and swimming Lake Windermere and bingeing on Mint Cake. Angelic chanteuse, cabaret star, actress, comedian, new mum, and dutiful daughter Jackie Clune's attending her dad's 70th birthday (Happy Birthday to Jackie's dad from all at Fringe Report).

Brown-eyed gorgeous actress Lucy Middleweek pops in en route to The Streets' Hammersmith performance. Actress and director Katharine Pottinger's tied up in Bristol with rehearsals for her new play. FR's adorable writer, actress and choreographer Alison Collinge is also locked in rehearsals, for her new play opening in a fortnight. Fabulous film-maker and artist Stuart Croft's working elsewhere today, as is the handsome and charismatic editor of Chortle, the delightful Steve Bennett.

Czech Embassy Cultural Attaché Monika Studena is away at a major European cultural diplomacy event in Westminster. Here's the fabulously handsome and talented desiginer of Young Adam, the elegant Laurence Dorman - he's curtently working on a French feature being shot in London. Tall hunky musical director Pete Smith takes a break from playing piano at fringe venues and chats about the meaning of life - every gesture of his hands pure musical poetry. Sexy slim stage, commercials & tv director and actor Alex Dower drops in for a few hours, he's in the middle of a daunting array of assignments.

The magnificent theatre proprietor and Royal College of Art-trained designer Christopher Richardson lifts the cultural tone of the event with his arrival, in couture tropical fawn suit and Panama - but without dog Brook Richardson who's taking an afternoon snooze in his kennel. Also taking a break away is Andrew 'Butch' Simmons, hard at work on Topping & Butch's new Edinburgh show. Film legend and Edinburgh International Film Festival Artistic Director Shane Danielson, in town recently for screenings and presentation of FR's Film Person of the Year Award, is away in America, selecting new film for this year's stunning festival.

Top political dramatist, actor, director and satirist Justin Butcher arrives looking as ever impossibly handsome and intelligent (yes girls, the two qualities can co-exist), and recklessly sartorially styish. Elegant and delightful actress and director Emma Malin's resting at home prior to a month's film shoot in Portugal. She's only just returned from shooting the new Death On The Nile in Egypt. Gorgeous principal dancer Laura Macias is in Dublin, rehearsing her latest role, which will feature in London, and this year's Edinburgh. Tall and recklessly handsome comedy actor Dan Mersh is spending the weekend filming. David Vickerstaff is another dad spending the day away on parental duties, as is fellow-father designer Richard Dragun. Here's the magnificent actor, director, writer, and lyricist, the ebullient Ray Gardner, who won an industry best actor award for his Tango commercial, just back from a national tour with Sir Tommy Steele in Scrooge The Musical.

Lighting and sound guru Nic Watson's immersed in oil on his canal-boat catching up on essential repairs and preparing for Tuesday's new Comedy-A-Jo-Jo season. Theatrical management legend Dave Wybrow's missing and missed, as is Cornwall-based actress and director, lovely Frances du Pille, stylish Boston-based writer Brandon Toropov, gorgeous and totally adorable Francesca Fanizzi who's in Spain, fabulous drama and comedy writer and Imperial College scientist Dr Terry Newman, magnificent cutting-edge stand-up and Oxford graduate Andy Zaltzman, dramatist and actor Andrew McKay, actor, producer and theatre administrator Louis Brownhill, the beautiful drama, comedy and musicals actress Sarah-Louise Young, the fabulous comedy actor Neil Mullarkey. Icon of New British Cinema Johnnie Oddball misses the event due to a failed MOT on his car - a level of style that places the London fringe several rungs above The Oscars.

Peter Benedict's in Brighton following the reading of his new production at the Jermyn Street Theatre last week. Elegant and delighful journalist Will Cantopher's away. The divine and breathtakingly beautiful dancer Kitty Winter is here, impossibly stylish in elegant grey trousers setting off her long and pretty dark hair and her astonishing talent - many would say that to see Kitty Winter dance is to experience a glimpse of paradise. Absent in rehearsals for her upcoming part in Romeo & Juliet is the adorable actress and director Bindu de Stoppani; and fabulous comedy actor, the delightful Gareth Tunley, hard at work on his new Edinburgh character Sven Stacy.

Here's the wonderfully elegant, sexy, modest and charming Jamie Minoprio, a driving force on the production side of Ealing Live and all-round lovely man. And the woman who defines grace in acting, and style and incomparable beauty in real life - the completely gorgeous Genevieve Swallow.

END

Report by John Park / Saturday 24 April 04 / Worlds End Chelsea / Party for Fringe Report's Advisory Board and Consultancy Board

reviews@fringereport.com

Thanks to Global Treasury News publisher and FR Board member Rupert Keenlyside for kindly providing the wine. Thanks to FR's honorary mum Jackie King for bringing over crucial serving dishes.

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