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WE HAVEN'T SAID A PORKY PIE YET:
Deception and Self-Deception

Verdict: Funny, moving and perceptive fragments from life

Edinburgh - The Pleasance - August 02

Performance at Battersea Arts Centre (BAC) - 20 October 02


Three actors present 32 mini-dramas. Some are comedy, and none is what it seems.

The three women - Jo Harper, Rachael Spence, Louise Wallinger - dressed anonymously and identically to avoid distraction in beige trousers and open-neck shirts - portray an enormous range of men and women in these fresh and startling excepts from life.

In Free Radicals, Rachael Spence is a shop beautician earnestly selling skin-food, and delivering a masterclass in human cell biology. Louise Wallinger is an earnest practitioner in the specialist and intimate area of Hair Removal. Spence returns briefly with more cosmetic advice, dealing with the tanning-cream and religious requirements of 'Arab ladies' in Desert Island Product.

In Umms and Ahhs, Jo Harper is an expert on catching people telling lies, with fascinating practical tips on how to avoid detection. Spence is an earnest American in What I'm Working On, continuing the theme of truth and its avoidance, and coins the phrase 'Deception and Self-Deception' - the sub-title of the show. Porky Pies - a 2-hander between Harper and Wallinger - provides the main title,.

Camden Boys moves towards the topic of racial difference, via a dialogue between two market traders. Harper and Wallinger play two men discussing friendship, Thailand, and the varied countries of origin of their own parents (Spain, Yorkshire and Cornwall). Wallinger monologues in Even Indians about an older man's changed attitude to 'coloured people - even Indians' as he ages and recognises their fellow humanity. Harper and Spence are two women talking about the performer Chung Lin Su, talking 'gobledegook' and pretending he was Chinese, who died tragically attempting the Empire Bullet-Catching Trick, as had 13 other performers - 'You'd have thought they'd have got the message, wouldn't you?'

Thumbs Closed tells of a skinhead's quick conversion from street violence to playing darts. Jo Harper narrates fast laxative action in Syrup of Figs, the story of a woman attacking her husband with unconventional methodology. Truth Bias is a further quick look at lying and telling the truth.

Spence's severe American woman is back for It's Not Ironic Ernst, a fast reprise of self-deception. Wallinger has a substantial monologue with Private Eye, telling the story of how her Iranian male character is defrauded, but finally gets revenge. Harper's driving in Cow, when a man shouts 'Cow!', which she takes as an insult, and drives angrily round the corner into a cow.

Spence and Wallinger team up for Love on Lycos, a substantial piece on what happens when one masquerades for love on the internet. In CSA, Harper introduces a fascinating character she'll take through coming sketches, a male soldier with confusion over his sexuality who has fathered a child. Misconstrued, with Wallinger, is the funny account of what goes wrong when bride and bridesmaid fall - substantially - out.

Jo Harper reassumes her soldier character in Father, who acquires a superior officer as a boyfriend and applies to join the Parachute Regiment. Minge Action has lads talking about the title subject. Impostors tells of those whose gender was deceptive. Billy was married 4 times as a woman without anyone realising he was a man. The grown-up child of a father found to be a woman says: 'She'll always be Dad.' Crows Feet is Spence's illustration of the difference between real and fake laughter. Harper's soldier is open to blackmail for going to a gay bar in Gaynor. He's investigated by the Special Investigation Branch and dishonourably discharged (SIB).

Spence is a Cockney geezer in for a taste of Jury Service. Swimmers hilariously illustrates the importance of clear diction when making up pairs for partner-swapping swingers. In CJ, Spence is a lad who messes up applying to join the police by getting on the far side of the law.

Wallingers' Toilet Feature abruptly halts any audience popcorn eating, by examining stool with customs officers in their specially-designed drug-catching lavatories. Harper detains us at the airport: in A Funny Mistake, her airline check-in receptionist describes how to ruin the day of a polite customer. Spence is a seasoned rectal drug-carrier in Kinder Surprise, which uses the popular surprise-gift-bearing German confectionery to carry a new cargo, within an unconventional but colour-co-ordinated hold.

There are a couple of other short fragments, The Process, and Mohigan. The finale, Elite Syncopations uses the full cast to tell the intriguing story of a man who thought he had a rattle in his head.

To prepare the show, the performers interviewed people on the street and in a variety of situations. With the director they picked the most interesting fragments to produce an edited soundtrack. They act out the parts to the audience. They use headsets onstage so they can hear the soundtrack and speak precisely the voice of the live person, complete with pauses and the mannerisms of natural speech.

There are nuances to real-life speech that are deleted for good reason in drama - eg to avoid the repetition necessary in one-to-one speech, and the ums, ahs, hesititations and little laughs that can distract attention in a focused play. Here, one is able to enjoy them and in a way, it's easier not to know the method behind the show - instead allowing the remarkable performances of the hugely talented cast to provide '59 minutes and 45 seconds (approximately)' of reckless delight.

Cast (alpha order) - Jo Harper, Rachael Spence, Louise Wallinger.

Director - Mark Wing-Davey. Created by - cast and director. Sound design - Nikos Pandis. Press and marketing - Liz Reynolds. Commisioned by the Battersea Arts Centre (BAC) and produced in association with Blue Box Entertainment, The Actors centre, and The Pleasance Theatre. Company - Non-Fiction Theatre Company.

END

John Park

reviewed Friday 23 August 02 / Pleasance Courtyard Cellar

related sites -

Jo Harper

Rachael Spence

Actors Centre

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